NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Tucker Carlson sealed his fate at Fox News Channel by saving his best material for his texts, a newly leaked network memo reveals.
According to the memo, written by the Fox News chairman, Rupert Murdoch, Carlson violated his contract by filling his texts with “premium fascist content” that should have been used on his show.
“The cable-news business is more competitive than ever,” Murdoch wrote. “Every drop of hatred and venom that our personalities produce must be deployed on their programs.”
The memo indicated that Carlson’s reckless decision to waste his most vividly racist comments in his texts has resulted in a policy overhaul at Fox.
“Going forward, there will be zero tolerance for any expressions of vile, abhorrent sentiments that Fox is unable to monetize,” Murdoch wrote.