Sunday, March 26, 2023

Amazon is looking to ruin Tomb Raider with a new TV show updated for ‘modern audiences’

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Amazon must really hate fans. The company first canned a Conan TV show because of ‘toxic masculinity’ and then destroyed the legacy of Tolkien with the blasphemous Rings of Power. Now, they’re coming for video game adaptations with the announcement of a new God of War series as well as a Tomb Raider show written by the ‘comedian’ Phoebe Waller-Bridge. With HBO’s Last of Us receiving a lot of undeserved praise, Amazon wants to cash in on the video game adaptation with their very own ‘reimagining’ and ‘retelling’ these stories for a ‘modern audience’. With the hiring of Waller-Bridge, it’s clear that they’re not looking at catering to fans but a more, ‘diverse’ and ‘inclusive’ audience. Expect the show to feature jokes that are about as funny as an autopsy and a lot of a ‘grrrl powaaahhh’ and ‘yaaas queen slay’ type of nonsense. In the words of Professor Tolkien, ‘Evil cannot create anything new, they can only corrupt and ruin what good forces have invented or made’. 

Tomb Raider at the movies

The first Tomb Raider film was released in 2001 with Angelina Jolie playing Lara Croft. The film was a modest success and featured a decent soundtrack to boot, with the Nine Inch Nails tune, Deep taking centre stage. It stayed relatively close to the source material and was a bit of a hit with fans. So much so that a sequel was quickly commissioned and released in 2003. Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life was a dud and halted any real momentum for video game adaptations. Then in 2018, we saw a lifeless reboot starring Alicia Vikander in the lead role. The film took inspiration from the more modern Tomb Raider games and really missed the mark when it came to fan reception. 

Tomb Raider

Any good video game adaptations?

Well, there are a few great adaptations, like the first Mortal Kombat and even Sonic the Hedgehog. These films stayed true to the source material and didn’t stray too far from what the games so popular. Even the first Silent Hill wasn’t as bad as most people say it was. It managed to stay true to the spirit of the game. But alas, just like the rot in comic books and cinema, the ‘modern audience’ has now come for video game adaptations. God save us all! 

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